amigdala

yeah, that's what we- his gransons- call him by. Ayah Kakek. Born as Abd.Manaf Mukhayyar at 1920es at Batavia. He used to known as Haji Ndung, betawi asli dari bilangan Palmerah. Betawi culture has created him as a tough and a hard man.

His existence was easily recognized from his voice. Construction workers in Darunnajah-his main akhirat saving- used to familiar with his voice. They would be suddenly very struggle in their work when they heard his voice. Got no discrimination-even to his own son. seemed to fear no one and didn't want to be over respected by others. I remember what always happen when i try to kiss his hand respecting him, he took his hand back before my nose reach it. Eventhough we know he loves his grandsons very much. His rare sweet smile scratched deeply in my mind. He's rigorous n very tight in grasping the islamic law. n that's what become the basic reason for having an idea of creating an islamic boarding school for a poor people, islamic education.

He knew the importance of education. He really knew that there were a lot of smart but poor people need education coz he once was one of them. He really knew that only by knowledge, n islamic knowledge, someone can achieve both honour of world and hereafter. That was why he insist to start an education, class teaching process - even with only 3 students- in earliest day of Darunnajah. He really knew that "in tanshurullaha, yanshurukum..", If you 'help' Allah, He will help you back..". n He really knew that what he's done n gave for islam through Darunnajah is an everlasting saving for his family, country, and Islamic religion.

But nowadays, he's lying in a hospital bed with no power. He's got a leukemia, a blood cancer. I can only send him a pray; whatever happens, his ikhlas n jihad soul will always inspiring me. Inspiring much islamic generation to achieve world and akhirat honour with knowledge.

I miss him very much. I miss the way he angry directing those workers. I miss the way he walk by his pole to the mosque. I miss his rare sweet smile. I will never give up trying to kiss his hand..

I watched again the movie for several times last night.. still it amazed me.. beautiful scenes that taken, the battle of Nameless (Jet Li) and Broken Sword (Tony Leung), the philoshopy of hero that reconstructed, the sacrifice for a peace they made... the message that brought : "everyone sees you what you seem to be, but few know what you are" (Machiavelli)

Just wonder whether i can hear such story nowadays or not.. story from the ultimate principle from both swordmanship and chinese calligraphy.. from the man who has achieved the swordmanship's ultimate achievement: "the absence of the sword both from hand and hearth.. the swordman is at peace with the rest of the world.. he vows not to kill and to bring peace to mankind..."

Broken sword undefended himself and let his soulmate, Flying Snow, killing him to make her believe the meaning of true love, Nameless let his life taken by the arrows of chinese troops to give a chance for a greater love (by Letting King Qin alive and create a peace in China) and throw away his own love (by revenging his Zhao's family that killed by King Qin's Troops)..

They sacrifice their lifes, throw away their ego for one single word: Love... a true love.. a different level love from what most of nowadays generation show off such kind of "valentine love"...

I chat once with my friend, Lina.. she asked me to explain what "takwa" is.. I told her, actually it means "fear" in arabic, but i couldn't agree with that translation n try to find a different perspective. The reason is, I think it doesnt make a sense that someone has to do good deed hoping a reward from God (heaven/jannah) nor has not to do bad things fearing for God's punishment (hell/naar). Coz in my opinion, we don't ask anything for someone who we really love.. we don't feel fear before someone we love... we only want -Him- to love us, to be always with us...

n when we try to reach His love, we shouldn't stop at our "ego" love - our love for our girl/boy friend, our love for our wife, even family, just like what Nameless did- but we should use them to reach the highest level love, Love for One who creates us...

The term came out in my conversation with one of my friend in Sheffield, Ovi.
Her home in central Sheffield has a lot of rooms. She told me that she always has a lot of friends through the weekend nights. Watching indonesian horror movie, chatting superficial stuffs, cooking some indonesian fried rice, playing "Uno" card.

Similar situation always happen to me. In evey place i stay, it almost got "base camp" labelled. Even in UK, in my Sunderland uni's hall of residence's room. It's only about 4x4 m square with one small bed room, but there almost a friend of mine-once there 4- who sleep in the floor, close to the heater, trying to keep warm. My room always become a first choice for indonesian friends who come to the small 'mackem land', sunderland.

It also happened when i was study in Yogya, one of Indonesian student's heaven city. In my room in "kost la wa laa" (labelled by my friend, it means: the residence that too much prohibition) the door always be opened to everyone. It was becoming a family room, the place where we watch some premiere league or even world cup match, the place where often me n my friends sleep with an opened window. Sleep in sleeping bag under the naked sky, waiting for a shooting stars, spending the night with a guitar singing some iwan fals' old songs.

Even in my home sweet home in Jakarta. It usually becomes a base camp for every meeting. It seems has its own attraction for my friends. The position of the room, (u don't have to meet the whole family to stay in my room), the dish in its late night (Indomie telor), the "gorengan" in its morning, the 'le' Temu Loundry' for some of my friends, (especially John), the free clothes they can use, the about 4 spring beds with lot of rather stingky pillow, the orchestra sound of "jangkrik", the loudly voice of my respectly father trying to wake us up in the very early morningn, "Deeedd.. Subuuuh...." and the mosquito that will sting your sweet blood mixed together with it warm and peace aura of DN islamic boarding school and create its own sense. My mom even once call me, said that she miss me and suprisingly, the friends of mine who always spent their weekend in my home. In previous Ramadhan nights, she sometime felt so sad opening the room to find only the empty room. she said ;

"ded, penginepan mama sepi nih bulan puasa kali ini.."

hmmm.. well, someday, if i have my own home, i'll keep trying to create such situation. There might be no my friends that will spend the weekend nights. There will be only my luvly wife and sons. But, for sure, it will always be opened for every friends of mine.

"....fal yukrim dhoifahu.."

One behaviour that i like from the people in this country is how they trying to keep the door open for those whoever walk behind them when entering the building.. they're sometime even waiting for a seconds.. " ta', cheers, or thanks" expression that come from those who walk behind usually come up as a subsequent..

It may just a small piece of british daily life.. but it might indicate something.. i remember what one of british management suhu said, Charles Handy, in his book, The Hungry Spirit.. it said that there are three different British in this country, sustaince driven, outer directed and inner directed.. people who work for their life is sustaince driven, they're work to survive, to earn money, perhaps they can buy some food and basic daily needs. Outer directed is a term used to describe those who earn money because they not only need it, but also love it.. they collect it more than they need.. capitalis.. their final destination is money. that's it!. The last kind people, n suprisingly, it's said about 39% of population, are inner directed. Inner directed are those who have relatively high sense of social care. They help others not for their material advantages, but for a balance and a better world.

Well, i don't think that's only happened in Britain, it's normal situation. What make i sad is that its hard to find that small nice behaviour in my home country, Indonesia. Country that was famous with it smiling face inhabitant. Country with biggest moslem population in the world.

“iza maa kunta za qolbin qonuu'in fa anta wa malikuddunnya sawaa un...”
that's the piece of letter that my uncle sent me, taken from mahfudzoth, arabic wise word..

it means something like this;

try to be satisfy with what u have got..
coz that's the only way to be "rich"...
becoming rich without material..
money, beauty sport cars, branded clothes, luvely apartment...
well, u may and u can have those stuffs if you (your parents) can afford it..
but u no need to have those to be rich..
by always "syukur", satisfy with what u'v got, u can achieve those level, immortal richness...

Dian Sastro, one of indonesian diva might has understood that well, it reflected from the poet in “Alhamdulillah”, one of Thoo Phat, Malaysian’s rapper’s song:

Sujudku pun takkan memuaskan inginku untuk hanturkan sembah sedalam kalbu.. Adapun kusembahkan syukur padamu ya Allah, untuk nama, harta, dan keluarga yg mencinta, dan perjalanan yang sejauh ini tertempa.. alhamdulillah.. pilihan dan kesempatan, yang telah membuat hamba mengerti akan makna diri..
semua lebih berarti apabila dihayati..
alhamdulillah..

ofcourse it can be applied only in particular condition, such as material achievement, but not in the field we have to compete, such knowledge achievement..
al’aalimu kabiirun wa in kaana hadatsan, wal jaahilu soghiirun wa in kaana syaikhon…
the man who has a knowledge will always be considered as a “big man” even on his early age.. and the man has no knowledge will always be considered as a “small man” even on his old age..

"Salamu'alaikum brother..."

the guy said to me, shaking my hand, warmly..

"ehh, wa'alaikum salam.."

I was about to enter the mosque, the only mosque in small city where i live, sunderland..
his salam suprising me, not only coz i didn't know him, but his 'mackem' face (sunderland local people) was tricking me, is he really moslem? coz i don't see much local moslem britain in this no-azan can be heard city. not even one. But soon my suprise feeling was changing to shame feeling. He told me later,

" Brother, do you know? it's sunnah to enter the mosque with your right feet first.."

i just realized that i was entering the mosque with my left feet.
soon i told him, with smiling face,

"ooH, yeah.. i knew it, thanks for reminding me anyway, Syukron my brother..."

Hehe.. i couldn't picture what i was feeling at that timie, ashamed? realizing what if someone know that there once a guy like me, who has spent more half of his life in pesantren, madrasah, was being admonished by mackem, which famous with its hooligan. Happy? knowing that the culture of watawashowbil haq watawashowbil- shobr still can be found nowadays even in this no azan city. Sad? realizing that i've been not feeling such experience even in my own country, the most moslem population country in the world.

Later i know the guy's name is David. Real Mackem. Born in Sunderland. He never miss sholat jum'at in the mosque. I know, coz he the only one who shollu 'alaa Muhammad loudly, everytime Khotib mentions His Name in his khotbah. May Allah always give him all the best of islamic kindness.

it's my first time to write my own blog...
exactly 1426 year after Rasulullah (peace be upon Him) made the most historical migration in Islamic history..
Hijrah...